My father was not a perfect man but he loved the Lord. Even now in my life when times get hard I find comfort in remembering how he overcame hurt and failures. He is still standing!!!
I continue to try to understand community and the true meaning of LOVE. I read this article today. As a member of the body of Christ, I have not heard this topic a lot. I even shy way from it because I only really think about it when someone leaves the church I attend or I hear someone complaining about the church they left.
Today choosing a church is like shopping for new shoes. We have sooooo many options. I know right across the street from where I live there are three churches. On the entire street it's five. I thought I would share two articles with you.
Disclaimer #1: This is not about you!!! It's not about me!!!
Disclaimer #2: This is about leaving a church, not leaving the Church. The building where you go on Sunday mornings is your church, with a little “c.” But that church is a part of the Church, big “C.” The Church is made up of all of those who believe in Jesus Christ as Savior. It exists in small town America and the biggest cities in China. It looks like buildings with steeples and small gatherings of people in living rooms.While you have some freedom do determine where you will attend little "c"church, checking out of the big "C" Church isn’t an option. Paul made it clear that you are an irreplaceable part of the Church (1 Corinthians 12). Hebrews 10:25 tells us not to give up meeting together.
From Relevant Magazine by Aaron Loy
Let’s be honest, while there are some good reasons for leaving a church, there are a lot more bad ones. As a pastor, I hear some of them every now and then as people walk out the door. As a church planter, I hear them constantly as people walk in the door.
If you’re thinking about looking for a new church home, please don’t use one of these five reasons to make the jump:
1. “I’m not being fed”
Do pastors have a responsibility to steward the scriptures and care for their church spiritually? You bet they do. And it can be all too easy to overlook this while trying to manage staff, build systems, meet needs, put out fires and develop leaders, all while overseeing the overall vision and direction of the church. But let’s be honest, if you own a smartphone, a personal computer or a library card, you have access to some of the best preaching and teaching in the world. You can even find teaching archives of some of the greatest preachers of all time. Christian, you have access to more “meat” than any other generation before you!
Your primary call in the church is to contribute, not just to consume.
2. “It’s getting too big”
I can appreciate the sense of loss that accompanies growth. When we first began, our church was little more than a small band of brothers and sisters meeting together in a living room. It feels very different now that we are a church of a few hundred people spread across multiple services. There are moments when I miss the intimacy and simplicity of those early days. But remaining small is a sad and unbiblical goal.
When churches are faithful to the Great Commission, lives will be changed and people will be added to their number. It may not happen rapidly, but growth is sometimes inevitable for faithful churches, given a long enough timeline. If you have a problem with big churches, you really wouldn’t have liked the first church, and you definitely won’t like heaven.
3. “I don’t agree with everything that is being preached” (Tiffany note: This one convicted me!!!)
You know what? Neither do I and I’m the pastor. As such I fully reserve the right to disagree with myself. And every now and then I do exactly that. Why? Because I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m asking questions. And my hope is that those I pastor are doing likewise.
If you insist that your pastor agree with you on every little thing under the sun, you are going to either hop from church to church for the rest of your life in perpetual disappointment or you will eventually give up and drop out altogether. Chances are you are not going to agree with everything that is preached anywhere. As long as your pastor isn’t preaching outright heresy, you can afford to disagree on secondary issues.The truth is when you choose to stay despite disagreeing on some things, you, your pastor and your church are better for it.
4. “My Needs Aren’t Being Met”
When someone lists this as a reason for leaving it is a dead giveaway that somewhere along the way they came to believe that the Church actually exists to serve their needs. They’ve bought into the lie that, when it comes to church, it’s really about “me.” Here’s the problem: the Church actually isn’t about you. It’s about Jesus. It’s his Church. He came for it. He died for it. He redeemed it. He continues to build it. And one day, he’ll come back for it. It’s his.
The Church doesn’t exist to meet your needs. You are a part of the Church that exists to meet the needs of the world.
5. Unresolved Conflict (Tiffany note: a.k.a. Offense)
Wherever you find the community of sinning saints you will find conflict. Lots of it. The Church is one big family full of characters and misfits. Sometimes sisters argue. Sometimes brothers fight. Sometimes you want to bury your weird uncle in the backyard. But despite it all, family is supposed to be the place where you stick together. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.
Paul addressed a lot of church conflict in his letters. No where do I hear him encouraging believers to bail on one another or move on down the road to a different church where it will be easier. Instead, much of his letters are his encouraging and coaching these ragamuffin communities in how to do this very hard and messy thing together.
The opposite side:This is from article Lies Young Women believe: Reasons to leave church (Disclaimer #2 is from this article)
Reason #1: Your Church Is Not Teaching the Bible
Second Timothy 3:16 says,
“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness.”
This verse makes two important points.
“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness.”
This verse makes two important points.
- All Scripture is God-breathed. It all comes from God.
- All Scripture is useful.
Reason #2: The Gospel Is Distorted
In Galatians 1:9, Paul uses some strong words to tackle this one:
“As we have said before, so I say again: if anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed.”
Distorting the gospel was a problem even in the earliest churches. Preachers would add to the message that Jesus’ sacrifice was our only means of salvation. Maybe we need Jesus and good deeds to be saved. Maybe we need Jesus and to follow all the rules to be saved. But Paul blows the whistle and says, “No way! Don’t stand for any other gospel than the one Jesus preached!”
“As we have said before, so I say again: if anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed.”
Distorting the gospel was a problem even in the earliest churches. Preachers would add to the message that Jesus’ sacrifice was our only means of salvation. Maybe we need Jesus and good deeds to be saved. Maybe we need Jesus and to follow all the rules to be saved. But Paul blows the whistle and says, “No way! Don’t stand for any other gospel than the one Jesus preached!”
Reason #3: Repentance Is a Dirty Word
We all love feel-good sermons, the kind that send us off to Sunday lunch with warm fuzzies in our tummies. These might be sermons on God’s love or friendship or the resurrection. There’s nothing wrong with these sermons, but be wary if every message you hear at church doesn’t include a regular call to repentance.
Jesus sure didn’t shy away from repentance in any of his sermons. Matthew 4:17 tells us, “From that time Jesus began to preach, saying ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.'”
James 5:16 commands us to confess our sins.
If the leadership of your church never teaches on sin, hell, and our need to repent, plan an exit strategy.
Jesus sure didn’t shy away from repentance in any of his sermons. Matthew 4:17 tells us, “From that time Jesus began to preach, saying ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.'”
James 5:16 commands us to confess our sins.
If the leadership of your church never teaches on sin, hell, and our need to repent, plan an exit strategy.
Reason #4: The Mission Is Missing
Jesus commissioned the very first church leaders this way, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you” (Matt. 28:19–20).
Your church should be actively seeking to make disciples. That means reaching out to those who do not yet know Jesus. Your church should also be actively seeking to train disciples. That means teaching the Bible to Christians.
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I have been saved for 11 years!! As a member ,I have been angry to the point I thought if I do not leave this church I am going to loose my mind. As a leader, I have asked my husband can we just go!!! Why do we have to lead people. As a sister, I have seen people I spent everyday with walk not only away from "church" but away from the "Church". As a friend, I have seen people leave the church and flourish in the new place the Lord called them to.
At the end of the day the Lord gave us all free will. It is so hard to say good bye but sometimes the Lord does call us to different places. I challenge all of us to be honest when we do have to leave a church body. I challenge us to bear with one another, forgive quickly, and walk in love. Most people leave church offended and just carry that bondage to the next place. Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity
I have failed at being a leader, a friend, a sister, a mentor, a wife, a mother, a believer. I have hurt people. BUT I have been forgiven so therefore I choose to forgive.
I have felt controlled by leaders and even so angry that I hated walking in the door of the church. Then the Lord showed me the person's heart and a mirror:)
I have found it's always easy to find someone to agree with me in my anger and never be concerned about my heart.
I have found a savior that served Judas! That's love!!!!
Check out some other articles:
- “When Should People Leave Their Church?” by John MacArthur
- “When Should I Leave My Church?” By Tim Challies
- “When Should I Leave My Church” by John Piper
